Traffic Jam

I’m never fond of going home late because the localities I pass through have not ever seen the light of street lamps. Those are the streets where sunsets make individuals literally blind, no matter how good they possess visual acuity.

On a usual another day, due to stretched working hours I moved out from the nearest metro station at 8:00 PM and saw hoop of rickshaw pullers around rambling “Madam/Sir, where you have to go?” to every passerby.

The cacophony of vehicles could easily make anyone deaf and that day I wished to be one to save myself from noise pollution. The tumult also played a hindrance in negotiating the rates with rickshaw puller but being born and brought up in Delhi I proudly boosted my bargaining skill and saved myself Rs.10.

The rickshaw must have crawled ten baby steps when everything got packed on a three way road. For next 30mins I could only analyze variant characters and my fellow victims of traffic jam.

 

Character #1: ‘Self-Proclaimed Traffic Policeman’- He is never asked to coordinate the traffic but being the patriotic citizen of the nation and considering this job as his sole responsibility, he asks scooter, car, bike, cycle drivers to move straight, left, right or stand still.

Character #2: ‘I must go 1^st Aunty’- She is a hyper senior citizen and Ms. Righteous. She tells all the vehicle owners surrounding her to stay behind and let her rickshaw move ahead because uhmm Well! No one knows why. (Oh! She sounds so like my aunt)

Character #3: ‘Road Blockers’- They don’t know the basic rule of walking on the left of the road. They crisscross their two wheelers in whichever way it gets fixed and convert a two way lane into a single way lane. Somebody must tell them that we don’t wish to persevere in this jam for the rest of our lives.

Character #4: ‘The Pavement Drivers’- This is one 'trying to be cunning' and most annoying lot. Seeing the congested roads, they move their two wheelers on footpaths to put a full stop on the movement of pedestrians as well. But one must not utter anything to them as they might be uncharted supermen or batmen who have to rush to protect the world from unjust.

Character #5: ‘The Harassers’- These are truly the proponents of the theory ‘opportunism’. They utilize the time to the best of their capability by passing lewd stares and comments to girls around. They indubitably know the girl wouldn’t be able to escape from their victimization hence they continue their acts till the vehicle of the girl bypass them.

Character #6: ‘Traffic Friends’- Their situational friendship lasts till the jam is over but until then they would have talked about how awful the scenario is in India, what PM Modi has achieved till now and where he has lacked, how CM Kejriwal changed the notion of Delhi and if the jam still continues they reach to world politics.

Character #7: ‘Miss. Love bird’ - She overjoys after finding herself stuck in traffic as now she can give a call to her boyfriend and have further chit chat. Probably it is difficult for her to have long conversations at home, which is understood in Indian households, so she doesn’t let go this golden egg opportunity.

Character #8: ‘The Analyzers’- That’s my category of characters. They are the most peaceful creatures trapped in worldly traffic. All they do is mentally abuse (mostly in English but sometimes in Hindi) everyone around with a sarcastic smile on face. And they take a pledge of not being late in future to prevent themselves from this chaotic torture.