Traffic Jam

I’m never fond of going home late because the localities I pass through have not ever seen the light of street lamps. Those are the streets where sunsets make individuals literally blind, no matter how good they possess visual acuity.

On a usual another day, due to stretched working hours I moved out from the nearest metro station at 8:00 PM and saw hoop of rickshaw pullers around rambling “Madam/Sir, where you have to go?” to every passerby.

The cacophony of vehicles could easily make anyone deaf and that day I wished to be one to save myself from noise pollution. The tumult also played a hindrance in negotiating the rates with rickshaw puller but being born and brought up in Delhi I proudly boosted my bargaining skill and saved myself Rs.10.

The rickshaw must have crawled ten baby steps when everything got packed on a three way road. For next 30mins I could only analyze variant characters and my fellow victims of traffic jam.

 

Character #1: ‘Self-Proclaimed Traffic Policeman’- He is never asked to coordinate the traffic but being the patriotic citizen of the nation and considering this job as his sole responsibility, he asks scooter, car, bike, cycle drivers to move straight, left, right or stand still.

Character #2: ‘I must go 1^st Aunty’- She is a hyper senior citizen and Ms. Righteous. She tells all the vehicle owners surrounding her to stay behind and let her rickshaw move ahead because uhmm Well! No one knows why. (Oh! She sounds so like my aunt)

Character #3: ‘Road Blockers’- They don’t know the basic rule of walking on the left of the road. They crisscross their two wheelers in whichever way it gets fixed and convert a two way lane into a single way lane. Somebody must tell them that we don’t wish to persevere in this jam for the rest of our lives.

Character #4: ‘The Pavement Drivers’- This is one 'trying to be cunning' and most annoying lot. Seeing the congested roads, they move their two wheelers on footpaths to put a full stop on the movement of pedestrians as well. But one must not utter anything to them as they might be uncharted supermen or batmen who have to rush to protect the world from unjust.

Character #5: ‘The Harassers’- These are truly the proponents of the theory ‘opportunism’. They utilize the time to the best of their capability by passing lewd stares and comments to girls around. They indubitably know the girl wouldn’t be able to escape from their victimization hence they continue their acts till the vehicle of the girl bypass them.

Character #6: ‘Traffic Friends’- Their situational friendship lasts till the jam is over but until then they would have talked about how awful the scenario is in India, what PM Modi has achieved till now and where he has lacked, how CM Kejriwal changed the notion of Delhi and if the jam still continues they reach to world politics.

Character #7: ‘Miss. Love bird’ - She overjoys after finding herself stuck in traffic as now she can give a call to her boyfriend and have further chit chat. Probably it is difficult for her to have long conversations at home, which is understood in Indian households, so she doesn’t let go this golden egg opportunity.

Character #8: ‘The Analyzers’- That’s my category of characters. They are the most peaceful creatures trapped in worldly traffic. All they do is mentally abuse (mostly in English but sometimes in Hindi) everyone around with a sarcastic smile on face. And they take a pledge of not being late in future to prevent themselves from this chaotic torture.

Age shouldn’t define heroic acts: A 12 year Old’s glory

My, too good to be true dream of shopping on London streets abruptly got interrupted by the raucous declaration of a girl.

While lying subconsciously around 7 am, I heard an incident which first anguished me but later beamed me with pride.

As the wall of my room is so much allied to the lane that usually when a cart puller passes by it gives me mild jiggles similar to an earthquake of 5 magnitudes, I could easily hear the incident with my closed eyes and opened ears.

The first voice which reached to my ear-holes was of a girl, who not sounded more than 12 in age so I believe she must be between 10-12 years. She was accusing a boy of physically harassing a younger girl.

She told, “Uncle, this guy harasses little girls sited in the rickshaw while the rickshaw puller is away to pick up other kids from their homes.” 

“I’ve seen him several times coming closer to minor girls”, she alleged further.

Till then the image of the scene had been drawn in my mind. The picture had 4 major characters, first the courageous girl who was accusing the boy of physical harassment, second the man to whom the 12 year old was addressing her problem, third the little girl who unknowingly went through this torture, and fourth that child molester.

The determined 12 year old must be a regular passerby school girl who repeatedly witnessed this filthy act and ultimately decided to take up the matter.

As there are 2-3 MCD schools in my area, I presume that the rickshaw carrying children must be of one of those schools. Because using rickshaw for transport clearly indicates that you don’t have to commute too far.

After listening the fuming young girl, the man orderly asked the boy “Yes you brat? Who are you? What were you doing here? Why do you try to talk to nursery girls?”

By the voice of that man I could picture him as an average built 40 something man who possesses all the qualities of qualifying for UP police. Do I need to provide a quintessential of a UP Policeman?  I’m sure NOT.

“No! No! I was just…. ”, the lad replied fearfully.

On hearing the words of that pedophile, I could categorically guess his age. He must be around 16-19 years because that’s when biologically the voice of a boy starts changing into the voice of a man. Thereupon, late teenage boys sound mildly husky which make their tone peculiar.

“Uncle, he everyday does this”, the daring 12 year old girl aggregated.  

“No! No! I wouldn’t do it again. Sorry! Sorry! ”, the boy pleaded with trembling tongue.
The victim didn’t uttered a word which left me with an assumption that she must be under 5 and due to an unfortunate trap might have got numb.

The last words were of the middle aged man who threatened the young molester to not to be seen anywhere around, else he wouldn’t be spared from a third degree treatment.

 

Following to it, everything returned to silence but it left my mind disturbed. After that I couldn’t sleep unconsciously. A volcano had developed in me against men; their lust sees no bar. But then, merely accusing men in child sexual abuse cases would not be fair as many women have been caught too for this obscene crime.

It’s the liability of parents to be watchful around the clock and not to trust anyone with their kids.

Why parents don’t stay more agile about the safety of their children?

Why don’t they drop their children to school themselves?

With a calm mind I realized it’s not practically possible for the parents to be 24/7 present in the company of their children. So, how one can prevent their children from becoming a prey by the hands of sexual hunters?

I came across few articles which I found knowledgeable and applicable. By implementing the mentioned preventions, I think we can save our future generation from pedophiles.

http://www.parentsformeganslaw.org/public/prevention_childSexualAbuse.html

http://drphil.com/articles/article/84

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-the-cycle/201112/child-sexual-abuse-ten-ways-protect-your-kids

On the other hand, the incident enforced me to see the flip-side of the coin in which a merely 12 year old minor stood for a 4 year old girl. The 12 year old could easily be dreaded for her life but the lionhearted girl confronted the offender in the absence of any known adult.

Her gutsiest step filled my heart with pride and reassured my faith in feminism and humanity. 

5 Tips to use a Public Toilet

Women face real pain when they have to control themselves from peeing in the public toilets.

Concerning the sanitation issue of public toilets for women, there are several tips that can save you from the germs persisting in public toilets. Women please do follow these tips!

Tip # 1 When entering a toilet, look at the toilet seat. Even if it is not needed, do clean the toilet seat with a toilet paper, dispose it and then take fresh toilet papers to spread over the seat and then sit on it. If you are unsure, whether public toilets that you will visit will have toilet paper or not, please carry tissue papers in your handbag in advance. It won’t hurt to toss a pack into your handbag or backpack to take wherever you go.

Many pharmacies and outdoor stores now carry tiny packs of toilet seat covers. Believe me they are a safe option!

Tip # 2 If you do not have tissue papers or toilet papers, kindly don’t sit on the seat but hover closely above it. If this is difficult for you, find something to balance yourself.

Tip # 3 Dispose the sanitary wear after wrapping in toilet paper appropriately in the trash provided.

Tip # 4 Use toilet paper to push the toilet handle that leads you to the toilet and out of the toilet. Also touch the flushing mechanism with toilet paper and quickly dispose of this piece of paper in the dustbin and not the flushing toilet, as it may create blockage inside.

Tip # 5 Wash your hands – always. Wash your hands using soap for at least 20 seconds under running water. Although many places are stingy on hot water, use it if it is available as it is more efficient in removing germs.

Using public toilets is a pain, especially for women. Follow the 5 tips to a healthier sanitary lifestyle and keep away from infections. 

This article was written by me for Respect Women

http://respectwomen.co.in/5-tips-to-use-a-public-toilet/

Blocked nose, sore throat and pimpled face on a date

When season takes a turn (either left or right), my immune system takes a turn along and leave me with a blocked nose and a sore throat.  However, throughout the year my situation is not much different as that’s the price you ought to pay to live in the most polluted city of the world. 

Amidst home remedies and allopathic medicines (for blocked nose and sore throat), my skin gave birth to ‘few’ bright red chubby pimples which in few days advanced into ‘some’ pimples.

The situation couldn’t be worst when your long time crush, who just landed back to India after completing his Masters from abroad, asks you out for a date. 

Date with this gentleman is actually like a dream come true especially when your friends had their eyes on him too. His 6 feet height, broad shoulders (No I’m not a pervert) and polite gestures could make any girl go on her knees. Also, his ‘not fake’ American accent should not be excluded from his charming personality.

So now with a blocked nose, sore throat and a pimpled face I had to get ready for a much daydreamed date, for which denial was never an option.

It was a brunch date and the time finalized for it was 12 noon. So a night before the date, I had done my time calculation, according to which:

8:00 am- Wake up

8:30 am: Breakfast (Just 2 Nutri choice biscuits as I didn’t wanted to look bloated)

9:00 am: Bath (with fragrance added to water)

9:30 am: Try different dresses

10:00 am: Iron the finalized dress

10:05am: Start dressing up

11:00 am: Leave the house

By following my time table, I left home at exact 11 am. I had decided not to go by metro as so much hush posh would ruin my hairstyle, so boarded an auto.

While sitting in the auto I took out my mobile from my Louis Vuitton handbag (Am I sounding cheesy?), that’s when I realized I’ve forgot to keep my nasal drops. Without my nasal drops I sound like Himesh Reshammiya singing “Ooo Suroooor”.

The effect of my nasal drops not last more than 2-3 hours when I’m suffering from severe blocked nose problem. As I poured those drops to my congested nostrils around 10:00 am, I could only pray to have their little prolonged effect.

The auto might have travelled merely 2-3kms when it started raining heavily (God knows from where).

My heart popped to my sore throat by witnessing the droplets making their way inside the auto and precisely over me.  Until I reached my destination my clothes and my partial hair had wetted, but the rain was still on.

It was time to step out from the auto and face the world. To take a shelter it was a 50 meters walk which I did and it worsened my appearance and my nose and throat too.

Now my makeup has washed away and my throat started getting cramps but I couldn’t do anything about it but just to fasten my steps to reach the restaurant.

Finally! I stepped in the restaurant at 12:05 and to my surprise he was already comfortably sited there.

He: Hey! Here!

I: Hi…. Sorry I got late. You know about the traffic then this bloody rain.

He: No! No! That’s okay. I think you should freshen up in the washroom first.

I: Yeah! Yeah! Thanks (with a grin)

When he asked me to go the washroom, I got a bit uncomfortable as I wasn’t sure what exactly he wants me to do in the washroom.

I did what he asked me and burst into tears seeing my pathetic look in the mirror. But soon I used my Gemini mind and dried my hair under hand dryer, drained out excessive rainwater from my clothes, blown my nose, coughed 2-3 times to clear my throat and moved out of the washroom.

He welcomed me again with a smile and started reminiscing our collage days. He blatantly reminded me how fat I was during collage and used to flaunt my fake accent in broken English. I embarrassingly laughed on all his jokes at me and had already realized that this date would be the first and the last date with him.

I gulped the coffee, ignored the cheese sandwich and indicated him that I need to go now. 

When we left the restaurant and I was about to whirl to my way home, he grasped my hand and looked straight to my eyes, and said, “Did I tell you I used to find you cute?”

I said, “No”.

“Did I tell you, you looked quite hot today?”

 I said, “No”

“Then we should definitely meet at dinner someday”

“I’ll let you know”, I replied with a smug (while slipping back my hand from his hand) and hopped in excitement just to land with bums directed to the slippery floor.

Luckily by then he had turned around and walked away. *Sigh*

“Happy Diwali Ariba”

It was like another monotonous day till I woke up from my siesta at 6:45 PM. With partial opened eyes, I extended my arm to reach to my mobile (kept on the right side) and saw a miscall and two whatsapp messages from my ex-colleague but existing friend Ankit.

The messages read:

“aribasaeed91@gmail.com, is this your email id?”

“Yaar phone toh utha liya karo” (Buddy accept the call atleast)

It was definitely not my email address, thus in next 15mins I dragged myself out from bed, washed my face, prepared green tea for self and sat back to give a call back to my now entrepreneur friend Ankit.

“Hi…Ankit! Kaise ho?” (Hi Ankit! How are you?)

“Ankit?”

“Ankit?”

“Ankit?”

There was pin drop silence on the other end. Considering it a network problem I disconnected the call but Vodafone didn’t forget to charge me for a blank call.

Called him again in next second and this time I could hear a voice from the other end of the phone.

After leg pulling from both sides of the call, Ankit asked me the same question, is aribasaeed91@gmail.com my email account? I simply refused and told him, of all email ids I use this has never been one.

Ankit- Yaar mujhe issey messages aa rahe the (Buddy I was receiving messages from this)

I– Kaise messages? (What type of messages?)

Ankit- Yaar it has some of your information, toh meine soocha bata doon. (Buddy it has some of your information, so I thought of letting you know)

I got chocked by the words of Ankit. Who could create an account on my name and send my info to people I know?

My heart rate amplified, brain started running in every wrong direction.

Is it an ex?

A psycho lover?

Someone I rejected recently?

My immediate question to Ankit was ‘What kind of information?’. He couldn’t answer that, which panicked me more.

What made him not answer that? Is there something he shouldn’t have read or seen?

I tried to answer that myself with a calming tone, “Is it some kind of spam?”

He told me that he has hacked the account and I should check it by myself. He provided me the login details and as I entered in the gmail account I promptly clicked on the sent folder to check what information of mine is being distributed.

There were no sent mails. (May be the person has deleted it to dispose every evidence if caught?)

Ankit -“ Dekha mail?” (Did you see the mail?)

I– Kaunsa mail? (Which mail) There is one from you which says Happy Diwali Ariba

Ankit- Yeah! Open that.

The mail read:

“Hello Ariba,

Thanks for opening this mail.

Please visit http://aribasaeed.com”

I right away clicked on the link, although the picture was clear to me seeing aribasaeed.com. But all the guessing failed and I busted into a giant laughter.

“Ankit beta (child) this is not even working. It’s saying the server not found”

Then, with a dumbfound giggle Ankit directed me to type www. instead of http:// and bull’s-eye! It worked.

It was my blog with my domain with a perfect theme to suit my personality. I mockingly said to ankit, “Iski kya zarurat thi?” (What was its need?). And he replied “Diwali gift to banta hai”.

Happy Diwali Ankit!

Respect Women – Get the guts!!

It takes more than testicles to be a MAN

Woman is the one who brought you in this world, and for that you can never be thankful enough to her. She can be your loving wife, your nagging sister, your adorable grandmother, your beautiful girlfriend, your knowledgeable teacher, your pampered daughter and so forth.

They are also considered to be the most beautiful creation of God but unfortunately they aren’t kept that way.  In today’s patriarchal society, women are just left to be a victim. They are victimized everyday by one man or another and if that’s not enough there are certainly few black sheep’s in the women community as well who try to pull down the progressive women or suppress the quiet ones.

Respect Women is an initiative to broaden the awareness among the communities about the progressive as well as repressive section of the women population. “Respect Women” has been working closely in analyzing the womanhood and bringing forth the opinions which can change the stereotypical mindsets.

Respect Women has enhanced its website and has changed its logo which now says Respect Women – Get the guts. The new logo now targets male community as well, it invites them to demand equal rights for women as they are humans too and equality is their Birth Right. It advocates men not to have pity on women but respect them with dignity and last but not the least, it tells them that it takes guts to stand by a woman, so if you have the Guts, you must Respect Women.

Tell me, how many times and how many men do you see standing beside a woman in trouble? I‘d like to place an example from the most barbaric rape of Indian history which took place on 16th December ’12 in the capital city of India where the victim (Girl) was shivering in the bitter cold of Delhi  but no man showed any courtesy to take her to the hospital or even cover her naked wounded body.

Respect Women- Get the Guts aims to awaken the humanity in the man and as well as women. This can’t be completely false that a woman’s worst enemy is another woman. All those mother-in –laws who expect their daughter-in-laws to come along with dowry should at least think thrice and then ask themselves WHY? A girl who is leaving her beautiful life behind just to settle your home why she has to present gifts to you? Instead she deserves love and respect for agreeing to take the responsibilities of your house.

A woman deserves respect not out of sympathy but because it’s her right. The creator has given her the right which no man can take away from her. She takes the horrifying pain to bring another entity into this world. She pampers you as a mother, loves you as a wife, cares for you as a daughter and so on, in return to which all she expects is love and respect. But this respect shouldn’t end in your home itself, you should carry it to your school, college, workplace and wherever you go.

You and only you can save her from being just another Nirbhaya. It doesn’t mean she is incapable of guarding her body but unfortunately she is inherited with less physical power than man so the best she could do she does but eventually looks towards you for a helping hand which you should lend in respect not in pity.

You can join the Campaign- Respect Women- Get the guts which is against the oppression of women. We want you to bring the desirable change in the society by contributing your bit. Every person has the caliber of putting his/her thoughts forward and so do you. You can utilize your Right to Speech by speaking about the women, for the women. You must know that it takes much more than testicles to be a man. To be referred as a real man, at first you need to believe in equality and after believing in it you need to imply it in your own life.

Be a man and Respect Women!

I wrote this article last year while I was interning with Respect Women. 

http://respectwomen.co.in/get-the-guts/