Kurt Cobain a Feminist or Mere a Hypocrite?

Kurt Cobain was a popular American musician of 1980’s-1990’s, who was found dead at his home in Seattle on April 8, 1994. The investigating officers revealed that it was a suicide by a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. As he was merely 27 years old, the circumstances of his death raised many questions and became a topic of public debate.

Kurt got to the ladder of fame through Nirvana which he formed with Krist Novoselic in Aberdeen, Washington and his second album Never mind. Following the success of Never mind, Nirvana was labeled as “the flagship band” of Generation X, and Cobain was named as “the spokesman of a generation”. However, he was often uncomfortable and aggravated about how his message and artistic vision have been misinterpreted by the public.

But it wasn’t only his music which made him the talk of the town, his firm perspective toward feminism and some social issues like racism and sexism brought him the stir. He once said to his audience “If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of a different color, or women, please do this one favor for us… Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records”. After that Kurt Cobain was considered to be against sexism, against racism, and against homophobia and emerged as a feminist activist.

Cobain didn’t stop there and also questioned the notion of masculinity. “I’ve always had a problem with the average macho man – they’ve always been a threat to me” he said. There are multiple depictions of Kurt as feminine, including the music video for, “In Bloom,” and in various live performances where he wears a dress. When talked about wearing dresses, Kurt responded, “Wearing a dress shows I can be as feminine as I want”. In the song “Been a Son”, Kurt addressed the topic of masculinity by singing about a girl that should have been born a son, basically critiquing the idea that male children are cherished more than female children.

In another song “Sappy,” Kurt sings about a girl that is in a controlling relationship, yet she thinks she’s happy. Throughout the song he explains how she think she’s happy by making her boyfriend happy, but comes to the conclusion that she’s not where she needs to be. “Sappy” is a critique on how our society tells women that their happiness lies in pleasing and serving a man.

Rape me
Rape me my friend
Rape me
Rape me again

I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one

……….

Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me, my friend

………

Rape me!
Rape me!
Rape me!
Rape me!
Rape me

Although most of his songs divided the audiences into two parallel sides of which one song was “Rape Me”. This song went beyond just a story of rape and into a critique on the traditional representations of race, class, and gender in American television. The well-known song, “Rape Me,” is as Kurt says, “an anti-, let me repeat that, anti-rape song,” that presents rape as a crime of violence and power, not one of sexual desire. Kurt said, “It’s like she’s saying, ‘Rape me, go ahead, rape me, beat me. You’ll never kill me. I’ll survive this’.” Even after several clarifications from Cobain’s side the song was believed to be pro-rape by many and was used by assailants during reported assaults.

Though Kurt had always claimed to be a feminist, but according to the book ‘Kurt Cobain’ by Christopher Sandford, there is an account of a rather cruel (bordering violent) incident with a woman. The women condemned all claims which exemplified Cobain as a feminist and revealed “If (the other couple) hadn’t come back when they did, he would have raped me”. “As far as I’m concerned, all the stories about Kurt- the Feminist are a sick joke. He hated women……” she said.

Certainly the world is divided into two groups, one who considers Kurt Cobain a feminist and the other one for whom he was just a hypocrite. After reading all the stories about Kurt my mind is also separated into two positions so I would refrain myself from being judgmental and leave the answer to you and let me tell you by choosing your answer from a “feminist” or a “hypocrite” you’ll also enter one of those groups.

Published by Respect Women on their Website 

Take Care !

 “Good personal hygiene is the first step to good health. It not only protects you from poor health, but also shields those around you from suffering illnesses that arise from poor personal habits”.

In today’s hectic life we ladies tend to overlook our health especially the personal hygiene. Our race from home to collage/ work land us into many heath issues which may initially seem minor but if not taken in consideration can develop into major ones in no time.

All I would advise you is Take Care of yourself. You are more important than anything or anyone else. Until you wouldn't give precedence to yourself no one else will. I’m not asking you to keep beautifying yourself before the mirror all day long but take care of your health which may not affect your physical appearance but can be much more dangerous than that.   

The intimate area is alleged to be more sensitive to infections because of different reasons. These include the skin around this area being more delicate. Hence this area needs specific care and attention. The basic trick is to keep the intimate area as dry as possible. It is recommended that after motions, you must wash up or wipe from front to back. This will help avoid germs entering the vagina.

Dr Suman Bijlani a gynaecologist and obstetrician has few suggestions for hygiene in such an intimate area

Tip 1 # Dry yourself completely using toilet paper or a soft cloth after use of toilet.

Tip 2 # Change sanitary pads frequently (every 4 to 6 hours during the day).

Tip 3# Report abnormal (thick/stains clothes/itchy/smelly/yellow or green or blood stained) vaginal discharge immediately.

Tip 4# Avoid scrubbing. Clean the private parts gently.

Tip 5# Use lubrication during sex if needed. (Dry sex can cause friction and abrasions which can lead to infection).

Tip 6# Urinate and clean your private parts immediately after intercourse. Then dry yourself.

Tip 7# Remove pubic hair at regular intervals or keep it well trimmed so cleansing is easy.

Tip 8# Obese women have more infections. So, maintaining a healthy weight helps.

Tip 9# Avoid sex if your partner has active genital or urinary infection.

Grandma's tip: Back in the day, women were suggested to sleep without their underwear, so that the vagina area remains dry.

There are certainly few myths which keep doing the rounds but I would like to eradicate them from your mind. These myths include

# Talc should be used daily.

# Scrub hard so that you are cleaner.

# Douching keeps you clean.

# Soap and water is the best way to clean this area.

The vagina is acidic and naturally has healthy bacteria which protect us from infections. Soaps are alkaline and this may disturb this delicate pH balance and the healthy vaginal bacteria. Also, some soaps are harsh and may cause irritation. The delicate area needs a gentle pH balanced cleanser which protects better against harmful bacteria and fungus.

According to American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) douching can change the delicate balance of vaginal flora (organisms that live in the vagina) and acidity in a healthy vagina. One way to look at it is, in a healthy vagina there are both good and bad bacteria. A balance of the level of bacteria types helps maintain an acidic environment. Any changes can cause an overgrowth of bad bacteria which can lead to a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis. Plus, if you have a vaginal infection, douching can push the bacteria causing the infection further up into the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.

 Published by "Respect Women- Get the Guts" on their Website

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

This piece of writing is done to extend awareness concerning sex, thrashing the myths and misconceptions a side.

Majority of us remain unaware of the crucial elements related to sex until we decide to Google it. It’s an unhidden fact of our culture that this topic pops only one night before the marriage of a girl. The mother embarrassingly(so like the bio teacher from school while teaching reproduction chapter) for the first time discuss it with her daughter making sure that she understands the complexity of it in just few lines uttered by her. In response to which the girl shyly nods her head signaling her mother that she has understood it well, even when she has several other questions juggling in mind.

Is it correct to entirely depend on your partner to increase your knowledge on the matter of sex? What if his knowledge is as restricted as yours? Most probably both of you would be liable to commit mistake which could be irreparable.  

Keeping in mind situations which we more likely to ignore or stay uninformed about, I’ve jotted down few points which would definitely be profitable to you and your partner and might boost up your sex life.

Tip # 1 'No penetration' does not mean that you are secure from being pregnant.

Yes! That’s true. Pregnancy can happen even when a partner ejaculates or pre-ejaculates near or on your vulva. Naked body contact around this region could lead to pregnancy.

Tip # 2 You can still get pregnant if you have sex during your menstrual cycle.

Shocking? Yes! If you have vaginal sex during your periods, you can get pregnant. Sperms have a life ranging from one day to one week, thus meaning that a sperm could fertilize an egg when you ovulate. It is a must to use a condom, as it is the proven way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Tip # 3 Washing the vagina after intercourse does not avoid pregnancy.

No! It wouldn’t work. Even if you wash your vagina with hot water, cold water, soap solution or shampoo solution, sperms are really speedy swimmers and can get to their set destination even before you blink your eye. Use safe birth control methods instead.

Tip # 4 Even if it's your first time, you can get pregnant.

You might have heard friends saying “it doesn’t happen at the first time”. Sorry to let down your friends but a girl can become pregnant anytime and every time she is having sex, irrespective of the fact that it is her first time or not. A girl is most fertile during her teenage years, thus it is a must for her to use reliable birth control.

Tip # 5 Not all women bleed when they have sex for the first time.

Men need to stop those suspicious glares towards their lady love as it is not necessary for a woman to bleed after her very first sexual intercourse. It is important to understand that women bleed only when they break their hymen for the very first time and not after that. And the hymen can be easily broken by any kind of rigorous physical activity such as cycling, running or swimming. So, it is not necessary for a virgin to bleed the very first time she has sexual intercourse.

Tip # 6 It is possible for a woman to get pregnant, even if the man pulls out.

The rhythm method, also known as the pull out method is the worst case scenario for birth control. Men are not always aware of when exactly the fluid is about to ooze out. It is said that one in every 5 couples, who follow this method as the only form of birth control, gets pregnant.  

Tip # 7 Erectile dysfunction is treatable.

Yes you heard it right. This is the biggest myth of all. ED is certainly treatable. Here are a few lifestyle tips you should keep in mind: Check your alcohol intake, stop smoking, follow a healthy exercise and dietary regimen and keep your diabetes under watch.

Tip # 8 Erectile dysfunction is linked to heart disease.

Though it’s saddening but in some cases it has been linked to heart disease. In fact, erectile dysfunction can be linked to cardiovascular diseases in whole. Studies have time and again shown that all men who suffer from ED should get checked for heart diseases.

Tip # 9 Sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

A study at the US National Cancer Institute showed how men who ejaculated through either sex or masturbation a minimum of five times a week were less likely to get prostate cancer.

Tip # 10 Not all cases of HIV lead to AIDS.

Even though there is no sure shot cure for HIV, there are many medications and dietary rules available by which you can suppress the virus. 

Published by Respect Women on their Website

My Mother, My Teacher

I was a little bird who was unaware of the realistic world, until her mother pushed her out of the nest.

Birds experience such scenarios very early in life whereas we human beings take several years to be put in such situations. Since our birth we are mollycoddled and loved to an extent that makes us a dainty doll. We live in the world of wonderland which is fabricated by the unfeasible stories of our parents.

In my case, my father is a splendid storyteller and all his stories were fables. I’ve known the stories of a crow, rat and tiger, sparrow, eagle and several other forest creatures. Whereas the only stories I remember of my mother was how my grandmother was once bitten by a venomous Scorpio, how my aunt was once fell from the balcony, and how she managed to top in all her classes.

When my father opted for unrealistic stories to send us (my brother and I) to sleep, my mother opted for a very realistic approach which made me closer to my father and I continued to be a daddy’s girl till I reached puberty. Puberty does make a lot of difference in a girl’s life and it did to mine too.

Fortunately or unfortunately I reached to puberty few years early to a normal girl’s age which shocked most of the elder ladies of the extended family. When I didn’t even know what has become wrong in me, dealing with those wicked glimpse of those elder ladies used to make me burst in tears and that when I  actually came much closer to my mother. Until then she was just a nanny to me, who used to cook for me, dress me in school uniform, drop me to and pick me from bus stop, assist me in completing my homework and some of the times bore me with pragmatic accidental tales of her life.

Like any other child I had a cheery life for which I now thank to my mother. She kept everything to herself and only showered affection, care and cosset to us. We never got to know, how she is butchering her desires just to endow us with entities of our needs.

When I grew up to an age when problems started reaching to me, my mother my teacher wordlessly taught me how to stay strong. With a calm and composed face of hers no one could ever imagine the struggles she encountered every day of her life. No teacher ever taught me anything beyond studies but my mother did and in a way that I also didn't realize that I've learnt a lesson today.

My heart has her beats,

My lips owns her smile,

She is not mere a mother

She is a teacher inside.

This article of mine was published by "Respect Women" with a bit alteration. 

Below is the link to that page.

 http://respectwomen.co.in/my-mother-my-first-teacher/